Indians Now Own London (Property, That Is)

Indians now own more property in London than the English.

A not-so-gentle poke at the growing wave of Indian property ownership in London. British-born commentary laced with sarcasm, irony, and uncomfortable truths. Property, patriotism, and postcode envy collide.

Right, let’s get this out of the way: Apparently, Indians now own more property in London than the English. Yes, you read that correctly. The land of warm beer and crumbling infrastructure is now increasingly bankrolled by people who, for some bizarre reason, think buying into our housing market is a good idea.

Cue national outrage, existential crises, and a healthy sprinkle of passive-aggressive tea-sipping.

But hang on—before Nigel from Essex starts hyperventilating into his “Keep Calm and Buy British” tea towel, let’s take a slightly more satirical stroll through this mess of property stats, census squabbles, and developer sales pitches dressed up as data.

A Tale of Two Spreadsheets: Who Really Owns London?

According to Barratt London (a developer, not an MI6-backed intelligence agency), Indians are now the largest group of property owners in London. Not renters. Owners. As in: keys in hand, mortgage signed, and a place in Zone 2 with suspiciously tasteful interior décor.

Their evidence? Internal sales data. Their motive? Oh, just to flog more flats to the same crowd. I mean, bless them for their transparency.

On the other side of the ring, The Daily Sceptic—which sounds like a place where logic goes to die—counters with 2021 census data claiming White British folks still dominate homeownership. You know, because nothing screams accuracy like using data from before COVID became a household name and Liz Truss briefly ran the country.

What’s the truth? Somewhere between a spreadsheet and a press release, probably.

Why Indians Are Buying London Like It’s Diwali at Harrods

Now, let’s not pretend we don’t know why Indians are snapping up property like there’s no tomorrow. The reasons are as predictable as a Greggs queue at lunchtime:

1. Stability and Security

Because nothing says "safe bet" like a country with five Prime Ministers in six years, a housing crisis, and a rental market so tight it makes Ryanair legroom look generous. But hey—compared to Delhi’s air quality and Mumbai’s house prices? London’s chaos looks positively quaint.

2. High Rental Yields

Up to 6%, if you believe the glossy brochures. That’s assuming your tenants aren’t a trio of undergrads who think walls are an ideal place to store leftover curry.

3. Education, Obviously

Little Rohan needs a flat in Bloomsbury while studying Economics at UCL, and mummy and daddy would rather buy a £400K flat than pay someone else's mortgage. Honestly? Fair enough.

4. Legal Familiarity

Apparently, the UK’s legal system is similar to India’s. Not sure whether that’s comforting or deeply worrying for both countries.

5. Currency Conversions

The pound isn’t what it used to be (cheers, Brexit), so it’s become almost... affordable. Especially if you're carrying rupees by the suitcase.

One-Bedroom Flat, Two Nations, Three Cups of Denial

The sweet spot for these buyers? One- to three-bedroom flats priced between £290,000 and £450,000. You know—the same kind of properties young British couples used to afford before avocado toast and Help to Buy schemes ruined everything.

It's the perfect bracket for students, newly arrived families, and seasoned investors looking for that “London trophy asset” to casually mention at dinner parties back in Mumbai.

“Ah yes, our son’s in London. He’s got a place in Shoreditch. Small, only £420,000. But charming.”
Meanwhile, young Brits are living with six flatmates, one toilet, and a slug infestation in Peckham. Living the dream.

The Great Data Disappearing Act

The real punchline? Most of this ownership isn’t even captured in official statistics. Because—surprise!—the census doesn’t track non-resident ownership. It’s like trying to measure how much tea the Queen drinks using Nando’s receipts.

So while the 2021 census says 7.5% of London’s population is Indian with a 66% home ownership rate, it doesn’t account for the thousands of Non-Resident Indians (NRIs), overseas investors, or wealthy families buying for their children. Meaning the claim that “Indians own more property than the British” might be technically dodgy, but emotionally... painfully accurate.

Barratt’s figures are likely based on who’s signing the cheques, not who’s registered on the electoral roll. You know, the part that actually matters when voting about how many Airbnbs should be allowed per borough.

Karma? Irony? Colonial Whiplash?

Let’s just acknowledge the poetic reversal here. Once upon a time, the British went off to India, helped themselves to the Koh-i-Noor, and didn’t bother to return the receipt. Fast-forward to 2025, and Indian investors are calmly collecting Notting Hill flats like Pokémon cards.

One Indian newspaper even headlined it with “Internet Calls It Karma.” Which, honestly, is so deliciously ironic I might frame it.

So... Should We Panic?

Only if you think London property was ever meant for Londoners.

The truth is, this is just the next logical chapter in a housing market that’s long since stopped serving the people who actually live in the city. It’s not about race or nationality—it’s about access, affordability, and a government so hands-off it might as well be astral projecting.

Indians investing in London isn’t the disease. It’s a symptom. Of a city increasingly seen not as a place to live, but as a “safe investment vehicle” where flats sit empty while nurses commute from Luton.

Final Thoughts: Yours for Only £450,000 (Council Tax Not Included)

So yes, Indians might now own more property in London than the English. Or they might not. Depends which numbers you fancy trusting more—government statistics or the marketing department at Barratt London.

Either way, we’re left with a housing market where your odds of owning property are best if your parents live 5,000 miles away, deal in foreign currency, and think Kensington is an acceptable second home.

But don’t worry. If you can’t afford to buy, you can still pay £2,000 a month in rent for a converted broom cupboard in Zone 3. Isn’t capitalism grand?